My hero, my mom

For Christmas I made my mom a hooded scarf (scoodie). I didn’t finish it in time, so I had to work on it while I was there. Upon my return to Texas I get a text from Glory with a photo of my mom crocheting. Apparently she use to crochet long ago & was VERY good at it. She had taught herself & had made many things in the past. I vaguely remember her helping me back when I first learned in middle school. Well according to Glory I inspired her to start again. Although she didn’t remember certain things, she was determined to keep going, keep trying. She was like a machine, non-stop. Glory even said that after she would put her to bed her hands were still moving as if she was crocheting! That’s hilarious.

With my mom having dementia & probably getting depressed with her situation, having all these limitations, you can imagine Glory & I’s excitement when my mom showed interest in starting crocheting again. What a great way to exercise her brain!! And she seems so happy & content with it. Glory sends me pictures of her working on her project with a smile on her face. It makes my heart smile. You would never believe all the hell my mom went through.

If I didn’t believe in miracles before, well my mom’s journey in these past few years sure made me a believer. I saw the fighter in her! Some may call it stubbornness, but I call it strength… The Lord’s strength! I saw God’s protection, love, mercy, faithfulness & perfect timing all through my mom.

My belief in the power of prayer is beyond measurements. If it wasn’t for the prayer warriors in my life, I don’t know how I would have handled the texts & phone calls from Glory.

I realize just how perfect God’s timing is & how everything that has happened in my life has led up to the preparation of these moments. Here is a short version of the timeline. I hope I don’t forget key people & events.

So now do you see what I mean about God’s perfect timing?  Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  I may have questioned it at times, but I am now a firm believer of these words.

Now back to my mom & what a soldier she is. Her health keeps coming at her trying to take her down & she continues to keep fighting, even when the odds are against her. One illness after another, falls, fractures, infections, even a “code blue” (that’s not even including what happened to her in the Philippines) & she is still standing (with a walker) looking healthier than ever. She still smiles, she still cries with joy & still as loving as I remember her.

When I look at her though, I am filled with regret & sadness. All those years I was with her, those opportunities of bonding & special memories, gone. Thrown away. Wasted. I play back the times when I chose my selfishness & imagine what she was doing. How alone she must have felt! How she must have craved companionship!
[Uncontrollable sobbing break! Why did I choose to put makeup on right now?]

And even though I was a selfish, spoiled brat, she loved me so unconditionally. Never once in my whole life did she ever spank me or even yell at me.  She would make me my favorite meals & hide them from everyone until I got home. She would wake up every morning & make me breakfast, even if she wasn’t feeling well & nurture me when I was sick. Never did it cross my mind to spend time with her? All I cared about were my friends & boys.

And I believe it wasn’t until after I just had Jadon that I realized how I wanted & needed her with me. I think the importance of a relationship between a mother & child finally hit me. The love I had for Jadon flooded my body & the realization of my mother’s love for me hit me like a ton of bricks. How can I ever say I’m sorry for what I had done & put her through? Even with her forgiveness I don’t know if I could ever forgive myself. It’s one of those things you can never have back! I know that I made it through my adolescence w/o any injuries because of her & her intercession for me through her persistent prayers. Thank you so much, mom!

And through all the hardships, heartache, struggles, trials, brokenness, she is STILL standing! She is still here so she can continue to build her legacy which will live in my heart & spirit forever & hopefully get passed down to my children & theirs & so forth.

So mom, you may think I have inspired you, but you will never know the degree of how you have inspired me in so many ways that I can’t even count them. So if you ever wondered or ever doubted your purpose. I am one of many proofs.

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