Beauty is only skin deep

As summer is nearing & bikinis are hanging up on store racks my anxiety begins to rise. A year ago I probably would have fallen into a deep depression, not wanting to socialize or be around people. I was very caught up & obsessed on trying to change my outside. Once I heard the words “You look beautiful” I all of a sudden felt this pressure to look beautiful at all times; & if I didn’t feel like I was pretty enough, I’d begin to feel angry or ashamed. Every time people would tell me I looked beautiful, I would feel good about myself & feel happy… but then it would quickly fade & I would go back to feeling depressed. Beauty had become my master and The Lord began to convict me BIG TIME. [In my personal opinion I think that is why I went through that major break out phase.] He told me that if I wanted to really FEEL beautiful I needed to change who I was on the inside FIRST. I’m not saying I was a horrible person, but there was definitely a lot of room for growth. It was a long & hard lesson to accept. It is slowly getting easier for me. I also noticed that as soon as I began to accept it in my heart & apply it to my life, not only did my break outs go away pretty quickly, but I also began to see a completely different person in the mirror. Grant it, I do have scars, which is a constant reminder of my “golden calf”, but one thing I realize now…when people say they notice a positive change in me, it’s not happiness I feel, it’s joy…the Lord’s joy… & that’s long lasting. It sure is more rewarding to please The Lord rather than trying to please people. And you have so much more to offer with your inside beauty than your outside beauty. Most importantly, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.” Proverbs 31:30 NLT.

Now there is nothing wrong with trying to look beautiful on the outside as long as it doesn’t become your idol. And I think or at least I hope, I can say I am no longer a slave to my vanity. Forget trying to obtain society’s “triple threat” status. My definition of a triple threat is someone who’s inside beauty surpasses their outside beauty while having God’s Word in their hearts!

So whenever I’m feeling “ugly” & I start to feel that anxiety rise up inside me I remind myself that in God’s eyes I’m beautiful & “worth far more than rubies.”

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