Christmas Eve 2014

It is Christmas Eve.  The kids are playing video games, Rico is at work & I’m sitting here (still in pain from a lame back injury) just thinking.  Thinking about what?  Everything, really.  It is a shame that life has gotten so busy & complicated that I have a hard time remembering what I did yesterday, let alone the beginning of the year.  Life has gotten so busy that I can’t even squeeze time to write about my day, which is mostly boring & only contains probably 18 “waking” hours.  I stumbled upon some pictures of the kids from probably 2-3 years ago.  How did they get so big?!  I only seem to notice it when I see old pictures or I buy them new pants.

No matter how many times I tell myself not to take this moment for granted, I get sucked into this world of: My-house-needs-to-be-clean-all-the-time, I-need-to-get-organized.  I’m so focused on being a ‘Martha’ that I often forget to be more like ‘Mary’.  I know that during the times I do choose to be ‘Mary’ I enjoy those moments so much.  Hearing the kids’ laughter & watching them be silly.  Having them snuggle up to me or forcing me to play League of Legends & hearing them say “We can’t win without you!”  It melts my heart, but yet, sometimes I still allow my weariness from the day overcome me & I choose to disappoint them.

I only have them for such a brief moment & then the day will come when I’ll be begging for THEIR time & they’ll be the ones too tired or too busy to come spend time with me.  I will then, feel the feelings, the emotions, the heart-break that they are feeling now.  I need to start the tradition of family being more important than a clean house, than schedules, so that when they start their own families, they will be able to cherish the moments that I’ve missed.

Well at least we have a few traditions for Christmas:

  • The putting up of the outside lights & decorations (mainly the boys do that)
  • Decorating the inside of the house including most ornaments & the little village (mainly the girls do that)
  • Putting up our personal ornaments together
  • Having hot cocoa
  • Opening up stocking stuffers
  • And their favorite…Santa’s scavenger hunt!

Next year they’ll be turning 10 & 12.  So close to the dreaded teenage years.  I’ve heard & seen so many horror stories.  I can only hope & pray that it won’t be as bad as I imagine.  It is a journey that not all parents get to take.  I should approach it with gladness.  God has always been there for me through difficult times, I know that this won’t be different.  I think the part that I am most scared of is when the kids have to go through THEIR difficult times & not being able to fix it for them.  That is when my trust in God will truly be tested.

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One response to “Christmas Eve 2014”

  1. cherree says :

    Yea we as parents need to stop forgetting that we are co-parenting with God. Why do we always feel like the world is on our shoulders? If we could just remember that trusting in God is all that we need to do. Happy traditions!

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