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Becoming the person God wants

I saw this devotional posted on Facebook & it really struck a cord with me. It’s just so cool how perfect God’s timing is. I just love it! I’m constantly struggling with wanting to be the best mom & wife that I can be. And I’m constantly down on myself whenever I slip up or feel like I’m failing or not doing enough. I set such a high standard for myself & I don’t even know why. Is it because other moms & wives around me put up this facade like they have it all together & are so organized which makes me feel like my life is in chaos!? It can’t be because of tv because all the moms on there are pretty messed up these days. Am I looking for perfection? I should know by now that I will never reach it. But lately God has been revealing to me…ok, maybe He’s been trying to reveal it to me for a long time now & I’m just now finally listening…that I need to stop focusing on trying to get everything perfect & start cherishing these moments with my family. Because time is flying by so quickly I can hardly keep up. I don’t want them to grow up & the memories they have of me is of all of my charts, how everything had to be in its place, routines couldn’t be broken, etc. Absolutely not! I am trying so hard to let things go, let the house be messy, let the kids get messy. I’ve gotten better on letting them play outside with their friends. That’s a step, right? But I can’t seem to get over the house being messy. It just really affects my mood. Haha! I feel like I’m getting better about picking my battles, not letting the small things get to me & just staying calm when the kids are acting up. That is still a work in progress, but for the most part, I’m doing a lot better. I did get affirmation today that I’m at least going down the right path. My intentions are there, the motive behind my intentions are right & we’re doing our best to try to raise them according to God’s Word. And although we will make mistakes along the way, it’s important that we admit to it & correct ourselves. So for a while now, I try to remember to pray for the Lord to continue to mold me to who He wants me to be, who He created me to be, and to give me the courage, confident & faith, to step out & be that person & be content with her. Because I know that the person I am today, will not be the same person a year from now & especially 5-10 years from now & so forth. I guess I’m just anxious to get there. But I guess I shouldn’t complain that my growth might seem slow; as long as I’m not stagnant in my walk, I will be content! I guess this is a good way to teach me patience. Haha! Hopefully my loved-ones around me can see the difference in me & appreciate that I’m doing my best to better myself. I just need to put my thoughts into action more often. :/

So below is that devotional that I saw on FB. I had to put it in my blog so I can read it over & over again, especially when I need a reminder.

But we all are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18

When you begin to align your goals with God’s goals and your desires with God’s desires, you will rid your life of a lot of anger, anxiety and depression. The homemaker who wants a happy, harmonious family is expressing a godly desire, but she cannot guarantee that it will happen. So she’d better not base her identity and sense of worth on it or she will be a basket case of anger or resentment toward her sometimes less-than-harmonious family.

Instead she could decide, “I’m going to be the wife and mother God wants me to be”. That’s a great goal! Is it impossible or uncertain? No, because it’s also God’s goal for her and nothing is impossible with God. Who can block her goal? She’s the only one who can. As long as she cooperates with God’s goal for her, her success is assured.

“But what if my husband has a mid-life crisis or my kids rebel?” she may object. Problems like that aren’t blocking her goal of being the wife and mother God wants her to be, but they will put her goal to a serious test. If her husband ever needs a godly wife, and if her children ever need a godly mother, it’s in times of trouble. Family difficulties are merely new opportunities for her to fulfil her goal of being the woman God wants her to be.

The pastor whose worth is based on his goal to win his community for Christ, have the best youth ministry in town, or increase giving to missions by 50 percent is headed for a fall. These are worthwhile desires, but they are poor goals by which to determine his worth because they can be blocked by people or circumstances. Rather he could say, “I’m going to be the pastor God wants me to be”. That’s a great goal because nothing can block him from achieving it.

God’s basic goal for your life is character development, becoming the person God wants you to be. Because it’s a godly goal, no one can block it except you.

Lord, I want to be the person You called me to be today. Thank You that by Your grace I can be that person.

(by Neil Anderson as seen in FICM Daily Devotional)

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Starve Fear

Saw a picture on someone’s FB page that totally spoke to me. It said:

“Feed your faith & your fear will starve to death.”

I love it!

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 19 Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

My spiritual timeline

– THE SEED: Being raised with the knowledge of God. Till this day, I don’t remember my first introduction to Him.

– Moving to Wilbur & meeting my first best friend, Sharon, a believer.

– THE SOIL: My parents buying me a book of Bible stories. This is a huge one because when I became an adult & started hearing these familiar stories, it rekindled memories & desires to learn more & dig deeper.

– I remember as a kid, my mom mentioning something about prayer. I don’t remember details anymore, but I remember having superficial prayers (usually when I needed something or angry about something). But even then, God heard me & answered them.

– God put me in a situation where I thought I had it all & needed nothing else, but at the end of every night I felt that aching void that ached more & more each passing day. The God-shaped void that cannot be filled with anything from this world. Which lead to the next point. 🙂

– THE WATER: Ended relationships which lead me to Rico. Another major key player. Although he was not a believer his brother Noel & wife Mela were.

– THE FERTILIZER: I had questions galore about God & the Bible. Sharon did her best to answer them, but it gave me the thirst for some kind of Bible study. I expressed this desire to Rico in which he mentioned Noel & Mela being believers & may know of one. So I guess he mentioned it to them which I’m guessing gave them the desire to hold a New Believers study in their home for us & the other brothers. During the study I got baptized at their church, in a hot tub. Sharon & Virlyn were there to support me.

– Shortly after the New Believers study, Noel & Mela moved to Texas & I had no clue what to do with this thing called Christianity. I tried to go to their church, but it was too small, which means too intimate for me. I tried Jubilee but it was WAY too big! [Hey, I’m beginning to know how Goldilocks felt. Haha!]. I so wanted a church that I could belong to. One that would “feed” me the real truth with no sugar-coating, welcome me…all of me & my flaws; one that was genuine & non-judgmental; one that I could call my family. “Well, ok!”, God said. “You are moving to Texas!” Now, before I move forward, let me do a quick backstory.

Rico & I were probably not married 2 years, so I wasn’t quite too close with his family yet (though they were very loving & welcoming when I first met them all). Jadon wasn’t quite 2 & I was pregnant with Kayla. I was finally bonding with my family & had a great paying job & amazing boss. And God says “Now, you are going to leave all that & go to an unknown place.” To my own surprise I was actually willing & ready. Rico, on the other hand, was the reluctant one. We “suffered” a year because of his disobedience, but that’ll be another post on another day. Haha.

– So now we’re in Texas because Keylessride moved their office here. And because of Keylessride I was able to be a stay-at-home mom & we were able to buy a nice first home. Ok, now what? Well, fortunately for us, our pioneers, Noel & Mela, had gone before us & were attending Calvary Chapel Georgetown!

– THE SUN: It took a long while…a lot of whining, excuses, fighting, consequences, convictions, but both Rico & I made CCGT our home church. All the things I wanted in a church that I listed above was here. Pastor Bob is a great pastor who never sugar-coats or dilutes the Word of God, but NEVER fails to share & emphasize God’s love for us. I love that! Lori (the Pastor’s wife) she can smell a newbie a mile away. Haha! She has THE most welcoming personality you’ll ever experience. I believe my first memory of her warmth was at my first Women’s Bible study (Beth Moore’s Patriarch). Probably not a good first study for a newbie, but definitely a good first leader. Beth Moore is awesome! Anyway, after Lori was probably Helen. She came up to me & introduced herself & was so sweet & kind & of course funny. The next person after her was Rebecca. Very soft-spoken, gentle & kind, but funny as well. But she handed me a verse & said that God had told her to give it to me. I wish I could find that piece of paper. I think it mentioned something about being worth more than gold and/or rubies. From that moment on, the rest is history. In our church are amazing people, especially the women that I have spent time with & who have cared for me & whom I care for. It is filled with amazing Prayer Warriors!

– Beth Moore’s conference in Oklahoma. I’ll have to update with the name of the conference later. A group of women drove up in a huge van. I got to know Laura & Lindsey more. That was a life-changing moment because I believe that was the time I chose to recommit my life back to him & I was determined to go to church regularly. At first I went alone or sometimes with the kids, but Rico was not quite ready yet. I may have tried dragging him a few times, but then decided to let him be & just drag him with my super-natural power called “example”. Haha. Eventually he started to go consistently with me. Thank you, God! He, himself started to grow a lot as well.

– Well with the commitment came refining. Yikes! It started with our marriage. Rico & I hit a rough patch which probably lasted maybe a year & a half or 2 years, more or less. I’m really not sure. He’ll probably say it was longer because it did seem like forever at the moment. But looking back at it now, we did a HUGE amount of growing during that time. The Lord wasn’t specifically working on our marriage, because for the most part we were content. Or maybe, so we thought. But He was working on us individually. I had things to work on within myself & apparently Rico realized he had things he had to work on as well. My hope tank was running on fumes at one point. But I was determined to hold on to the tiniest speck of hope that I could find. I reminded myself of God’s promises & his character & that was the only thing that kept me together. But I realize now, that I believe the change in our marriage began when the change in me started. And one of the changes I noticed was when my prayers went from “God, change Rico” to “God, change ME!” What a revelation! Through, Pastor Bob’s messages, a lot of Marriage Conferences, my women’s studies & prayer, we made it through that trial, changed for the better, with a deeper love & appreciation for & understanding of each other. Whoa! Did I just hit a tangent? Oops, my bad! Are you starting to see this big web of events?! As you can see, I’m starting to get lost in it myself. I better try to shorten it or this will end up a novel. Now where was I?

– Because of all the things above, my faith & relationship with God has grown immensely! And because of this my sister, Glory, took notice & sparked a curiosity. She has a journey of her own. A crazy adventure, I would call it. But because of her adventure, she became a believer as well. She went through some refining & crazy trials. But her faith plays a HUGE role in what’s to come. Even my brother, Roger & niece, Christine have showed interest in the Bible. Glory ministers to them when she is called to. I pray that God will continue to do a work in my family’s heart. I use to feel sad that I moved away when I was finally getting closer to my family. For some reason I thought I could help them more being there, but it is so obvious now that, through God, I am able to do a whole lot more here in Texas because there is NO WAY my faith would be at this level had I stayed in California.

If you were led to this post because of this post, then you can go back & continue reading. If not, then go to that post anyway & start from the beginning. Haha!

Philippians 2:3-5

3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. NLT

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. NIV

Romans 5:3-5

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. NLT

Romans 14:1

  1. Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. NIV
  2. Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. NLT